Chapter 2 “Strictly Platonic”?

Whilst y'all read my post listen to my playlist 🥰

"Strictly Platonic"?

Platonic

adjective

• (of love or friendship) intimate and affectionate but not sexual. "their relationship is purely platonic"

• Similar: Spiritual; Intellectual; Friendly

A platonic relationship is a type of love which has no sexual features, however, you are more than friends; romantic features may be suppressed but are not necessarily ‘non-existent’.

The term is derived from the ancient philosopher Plato, hence Platonic - a platonic bond ‘is a type of love experienced when we identify positive qualities we feel complete us, within another person.

Now you may be wondering what has got to do with anything I have to say - but sometimes we are stuck in platonic relationships when we want more than a ‘friend ’ - now don’t get me wrong a partner/ significant other is always an amazing friend they can almost be your best friends as well however, we are talking about the textbook definition of a friend - we want more than “the lack of romance” because the romance is there. Still, both parties just don’t know how to express their true desires and that can be scary especially, as you don’t want to break that friendship bond. As we all know romantic relationships come with a lot more responsibilities and commitment, some will say there are a lot more sacrifices - as some things you would do or say with a friend or even turn a blind eye to, with a friend is completely different than with your partner. You have to ask yourself “Am I willing to sacrifice my friendship to be with this person?” because if things go left you have a lot more to lose, not only are you losing your partner but you’re potentially losing your best friend.

Friend

noun

• a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations. "she's a friend of mine"

Sacrifice

Verb

gives up (something valued) for the sake of other considerations.

"working hard doesn't mean sacrificing your social life"

We all have those “what if?” moments, as humans we tend to overthink and doubt ourselves.

This is going to spiral BUT every point I make connects. Also, disclaimer I am not a psychologist or a love therapist or even a philosopher (even though I believe I have the potential and some people (not gonna name names but you know who you are) may question my theory but it’s all love🫡) - but you know I tend to think deep and shout out to you cause you helped me with some of my ideas and I might credit you (we shall see😏).

Anyways, back to “what if?” - it is a question we all ask ourselves, from the time we gain consciousness.

Consciousness

noun

• the state of being aware of and responsive to one's surroundings. "she failed to regain consciousness and died two days later"

With every - what if? - we create our subconscious result, our own story, our delusion, and hypothetical outcome - without even knowing the real outcome which results in self-doubt.

Subconscious

adjective

• of or concerning the part of the mind of which one is not fully aware but which influences one's actions and feelings. "my subconscious fear"

Hypothetical

adjective

• based on or serving as a hypothesis. "let us take a hypothetical case"

Self-doubt

noun

• a lack of confidence in oneself and one's abilities. "his later years were plagued by self-doubt”

We gain this fear of being rejected and that is how we end up missing opportunities - now remember how I said I spiral but everything connects - let me align the dots.

When we have self-doubt these intimate, intellectual friendships stay platonic because you have the elements of a healthy romantic relationship but self-doubt is lingering - the shame wizard (please tell me y'all watch Big Mouth) is always about and it can be the biggest ‘cockblock’ we are cockblocking ourselves more than that jealous hating ass friend who ain’t really your friend but you keep around because they’re convenient to have around.

Now I know some of y’all are going to read this and say “Savannah you need to take your advice” Well my response to that is mind your own business - I'm only joking cause I am kinda in y’all’s business but like not really. But everything is easier said than done, furthermore, am I giving advice or spreading awareness?

Love is a huge spectrum - not all forms of love are romantic or even sexual but all forms of love involve deep affection, no matter who it is towards, it is for you to be able to differentiate the type of love you have for the said person - as the love you have for your mum may not be the same as for your dad, but either way there is deep affection towards both parents, but it is expressed differently.

Thinking of Love as not being the same but, to compliment each other like a contrast.

For example, we all know our primary colours, red, yellow and blue, and we have secondary colours, purple, green and orange. So, how the colour wheel works is that the complementary colours are opposite (contrasting) each other. Now, two colours you may be a bit shocked about that are complementary to each other are purple and yellow, thinking about these colours together you would think that they would clash, however, when you put them together the brightness of the yellow highlights the deep pigmentations of the purple and the rich pigmentation in the purples embraces the vibrant tones of yellow, now this is a breakdown of colour theory with my twist.

My point is that opposites attract, however, the opposite is not always direct, some are the same but different, and you have similar interests and ideologies but your personalities are different - the small things are what makes the differences, BUT not different to the point you want to make changes but different in a way that you like, and compliments you. Unity comes with compromise, but don’t change for one another change to benefit each other, self modifications, you grow together and become something new together but the benefits need to benefit yourself as well, spiritual compatibility, which is simply unity. BUT, you have to be one with yourself before being one with someone else - I might need to trademark this one before someone steals it unless I accidentally stole it from something I’ve watched or read cause in that case shout out to whoever said it!

Like I said I’m not an expert I’m just talking, and if you know me I like to talk.

What’s your definition of Love?

To me, Love cannot be described but explained - ‘Love is not one-sided nor 50/50, Love is 100/100’ when you put your all, so will the person who you love and loves you back, unity is quality not equity, to me if we love each other neither one of us loves each other more than the other. You don’t need to be financially equal, or physically equal* but you need to be emotionally and mentally equal, you have the same amount of ambition, and even if your goals are different your drive as a couple, will help each other get to your end goal/s and your road meets at the end with the house on the hill with the white picket fence and your dog - (in my case hopefully a cat and a lizard but I can compromise and potentially get the dog).

The load is equal, but the way I express my love may not be the same and that is okay. My love language may be physical touch and yours might be acts of service and that is okay because we love each other and that’s all that matters - when I call you pick up and I do the same for you.

*Disclaimer: This doesn’t mean because you have a higher income you have more power. Likewise, with being “the man” - in the relationship - you don’t have more authority - Sorry Andrew Tate you’re just a wasteman, and that’s okay just be honest with yourself - so in Layman's terms don't waste your time on some lame ass hoe (a hoe can be male or female let's be real)

Anyway, I feel like I have done enough rambling.

So, ladies and gentlemen, no one will love you the way you love you!

Don’t forget to love yourselves before loving anyone else!

You got this no matter what!

Peace and Love! I’m out 🫶🏾✌🏾